


deliberate choices

by ElasticElla



Series: tumblr drabbles and fics [62]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 04:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5233685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erica is nineteen years old when she burns the name off her thigh- it never comes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	deliberate choices

**Author's Note:**

> first posted [here](http://elasticella.tumblr.com/post/133109794510/for-the-angst-erikira-anon-hope-you-like-erica)

Erica is nineteen years old when she burns the name off her thigh- it never comes back.

Boyd had her name, and maybe it was another Erica, maybe it wasn’t, but it didn’t matter. Boyd’s parents thought she was the one, her own parents were thrilled she brought a ‘man’ home (Erica never did fully explain them being agender to her parents), and all of their friends assumed they were soulmates. But they were  _better_ , they were a deliberate choice, they truly had love on their side.

And then there was the car accident, and no matter how accidental, she never forgives Derek. She moves to Rhode Island, but the memories trail after her, always just a glance over her shoulder away.

.

Opening an independent tea shop is a terrible idea. It was part of their dream, and Erica knows she shouldn’t cling to their memory so. She does anyways, sitting in her newly rented shop and thumbing over the scar on her thigh. Boyd used to kiss it, slow, grateful kisses like they couldn’t believe she was still there. She can still feel the exact weight of their head on her thigh, and hot tears drip down, blurring everything.  

She thinks about having their name tattooed over the scar, but she knows that urge isn’t about them, it’s about burning bridges. And Boyd was worth so much more than a symbolic  _fuck you_  to the universe. The urge fades away after a few weeks of running the tea shop anyways. She’s too exhausted to think most nights, dead on her feet but satisfied.

After a few months, Erica can think about Boyd without crying herself to sleep, and she counts it as a victory. (It’s harder to cry without them there, without Boyd’s arms wrapped around her or their comforting whispers.)

.

She’s twenty-six, and apart from avoiding phone calls from her mother and the damn woman that always orders in a rush and gets mad when she isn’t done in a millisecond, she’s happy. It isn’t something she thought she’d get back, and if she’s being honest, she hadn’t really been trying for it. She’d just been aiming for survival.

The shop becomes popular even, with a poetry night on Tuesdays, and a book club for Thursdays. Dates come in often, and Erica tries not to look for names, tries not to wonder if they’re soulmates or not, how long they’ll last.

It’s only luck that keeps her from having an episode in the shop. And that luck dries up on a Monday early afternoon- though Erica’s in the backroom and the line’s short, so her luck can’t all be gone.

Then there’s a soft voice asking if she’s okay, and Erica really wishes her head wasn’t pounding and her tongue didn’t feel so heavy. It takes another minute for Erica to respond, and thankfully her finder is patient.

“Small seizure. I’ll be, okay in, a bit.”

Enough of her words must come out properly as the person nods.

“Good! I mean, not good, but that you’ll be okay good. My roommate came on a date here the other day and she would not stop raving about your frozen matcha- which is amazing because she usually hates anything green. Especially maybe healthy things and- oh god, I’m rambling. Sorry, I’ll shut up now.”

Ordinarily, Erica would laugh. Still coming back though, she says, “S'fine, don’t worry.”

Erica sits up slowly, and other than her legs having pins and needles, she’s feeling good enough. Good enough to look over when she hears, “So my name is Kira.”

Erica’s heart trips, and somehow she doesn’t feel surprised when they shake hands and a spark tickles up her arm. “Erica.”

Kira’s eyes are wide, and she turns her arm over. “Is this your handwriting?”

It’s an obvious next question, but it still comes like a sucker punch, and before Erica can answer, Kira’s back peddling.

“Sorry! I don’t mean to be awkward, and I know Erica’s a pretty common name, I just had to ask. You don’t have to answer.”

The lie is ready on her lips, a single word that would cement her future, stable and happy enough. But Boyd wouldn’t want her to do that, and if she’s being totally honest, she doesn’t either. She misses excitement and being warm at night, and maybe, maybe a soulmate would get her, would like her, baggage and all. She never bought into the two halves making a whole romantic bullshit, but Kira just  _fits_ into her life already, only minutes there, and she isn’t nearly as scary as Erica once imagined.  

Erica swallows, “Yes.”


End file.
